Obsession with twngan

I know that as professors people receive a lot of school application spams. I've received some although I'm still a student (people just don't bother to check whether you're actually a professor). But sometimes things could get more funny. I've even received an internship application, even though I'm personally looking for one... Can't help but have to post it here.

Dear Dr.Tsuen-Wan Johnny Ngan,

I am a 3rd year undergraduate student in the department of Computer Science and Engineering at the Indian Institute of Technology(IIT), Kanpur, India. I am on the look out for a challenging and creative summer internship during the period May to July'05 that would allow me to hone my skills in my areas of interest and also add on to my existing knowledge and curiosity in those areas.

My areas of interest include Design and Analysis of Algorithms, Algorithm Optimization and I have done relevant courses (three in econoomics) and projects at myhome university,the details of which you can find in my resume attached with this mail. My devotion and commitment towards my work and ability to complete the assigned job in allotted time would help me to do justice to any project that I am assigned. I have worked in various team situations with good results and relish managerial responsibilities along with academic ones.

I read your paper "Performance guarantee for EDF under overload" and found it very interesting. I would like to do project under your supervision Given a chance, I would be displaying exemplary dedication and utmost sincerity towards the work assigned to me and would also be doing a sufficient level of homework on the work that i am expected to do before coming to work under you. In anticipation of a positive reply from your side,

Yours sincerely,
--
Xxxxxx Xxxxxx xxxxxxx@cse.iitk.ac.in
3rd year, Bachelors of Technology, X-000/Xxxx-0
Department of Computer Science and Engineering
Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur

resume.pdf 55K

I suppose I should just reply and say something like "Sorry I don't have enough funding to support you. Meanwhile, can you accept me as an intern? I am willing to relocate to India to work under you..." But then, professors usually just don't reply to these emails. And as a "professor", I should do the same...